i spent a good hour or so writing a post about my last relationship but reading back, i think it still needs some censoring; it was a bit too emotional, a bit too pretentious. i promise i will write about it one day, just not this one.
how are you? me, i’m great, and i’m not just saying that for the sake of it. i am genuinely happy and i have been for a few weeks now. i feel settled. i am filled with hope. i am myself.
there’s something that’s been in the back of my mind for a while, though. i rarely get angry but i am furious at the education system and the way students’ abilities are assessed. please forgive me, i am not very knowledgeable in this field and the following is just a collection of thoughts i’ve been a-thinking.
exams. exams, exams, exams. isn’t it strange that years of work, revision, and homework all come down to that one short moment sat at a wobbly desk? oh and don’t forget: wash the doodles off your hands; only turn your head a maximum angle of 45 degrees; peel the label off your water bottle. one paper. memorize the whole syllabus yet only be forced to spit out half of it. you’ve got music and physics on the same day so try not to mistake dynamics for thermodynamics – classical physics always did sound like mozart.
it’s all a game. remember finding the pairs? remember remember the fifth of december? i have concluded that all you need to get through school is a decent memory. memory. how awful. it’s a huge, intricate, confusing memory game. even the creative courses like drama and art still rely on exams and how well you can conjure up an answer on a faraway day in may. i am so thankful to have a good memory but what about the ones who don’t? the ones with more determination than me, more dedication than me? some brains just don’t work like that. it’s unfair that we’re all pushed into the same boat.
i have two exams tomorrow: music and chemistry. then i have geography, maths and physics. thankfully these are only mocks, but i worry that i’m deluding myself saying that i’ll work harder for the real ones.
wish you all the best x